Entry tags:
talking to strangers yet again
I know it's rude to talk to strangers, but I was provoked. I was waiting for a trolley this afternoon. Somebody near me was either recording a short video, or facetiming with a friend, while I maintained the polite fiction that I could not hear her. I've heard lots of people object to illegal immigrants or refugees, in these parlous times, but her objections were to tech workers with H1B visas. And once she got going, she objected to student visas. When somebody is on the phone, bystanders are supposed to pretend they can't hear...but it was pretty awful.
Then she turned to an Asian man on her other side. She asked where he was from, "I mean, were you born here? were your parents born here?" He pulled away, just a little, but said, no, he was only here for a few years. He had a child with him. She challenged him to justify what he was doing here. He sounded like he was treating this as a normal social interaction, politely answering her questions about his wife's academic work. I tried to get a word in edgewise. The bully found his answers satisfactory, and said people like them deserved to come here.
Maybe he didn't need my defense? He had successfully defended himself? I still told her not to go up to people and demand to know where they were from. This was my neighborhood, my community, and what matters is that people behave decently, not where their parents were born. I didn't think to ask if she was raised in a barn or what. I felt foolish and clumsy that I only called her out for rudeness but not bigotry. And that I didn't say anything sooner. But most of it was so undirected, with no handle, no excuse for an interruption. And then when it escalated it went fast and loud but not dangerous.
When the trolley came, the man and his kid went to the far end of the car and the bully went to the opposite end. A young person I hadn't seen before nodded at me in passing and said, "Fuckin' MAGA assholes." I said, "Yeah, what can you do?" and felt better.
Then she turned to an Asian man on her other side. She asked where he was from, "I mean, were you born here? were your parents born here?" He pulled away, just a little, but said, no, he was only here for a few years. He had a child with him. She challenged him to justify what he was doing here. He sounded like he was treating this as a normal social interaction, politely answering her questions about his wife's academic work. I tried to get a word in edgewise. The bully found his answers satisfactory, and said people like them deserved to come here.
Maybe he didn't need my defense? He had successfully defended himself? I still told her not to go up to people and demand to know where they were from. This was my neighborhood, my community, and what matters is that people behave decently, not where their parents were born. I didn't think to ask if she was raised in a barn or what. I felt foolish and clumsy that I only called her out for rudeness but not bigotry. And that I didn't say anything sooner. But most of it was so undirected, with no handle, no excuse for an interruption. And then when it escalated it went fast and loud but not dangerous.
When the trolley came, the man and his kid went to the far end of the car and the bully went to the opposite end. A young person I hadn't seen before nodded at me in passing and said, "Fuckin' MAGA assholes." I said, "Yeah, what can you do?" and felt better.