adrian_turtle

funeral clothes

Fri, 21 Mar 2025 16:21:13 GMT

What with the pandemic and not driving and all, my recent experience of funerals is limited. My experience of funerals outside my local (very informal) social group is particularly limited. So I'm asking the rest of you, particularly midwesterners.

Do women wear suits to funerals? I know it's the kind of event where a suit is appropriate, but if a woman shows up in a skirt and sweater is that inappropriate?

My mom's twin sister lives in Columbus, which is too far away for my mom to travel in her current state of health. My uncle is in failing health, and yesterday morning it looked like he was about to die of pneumonia and parkinsons disease and stubbornness. Last night he started breathing better and we hope he will make a good recovery. But for a little while, I thought I'd need to rush off to Ohio right away to support my aunt at his deathbed until their sons could get there and then to be at the funeral and oh no what can I wear? It's wonderful not to have a funeral today! But I just realized I want to be there when the time comes, and support my aunt, and that will be necessary one of these days.

I don't know if I should wear my dark gray skirt and black sweater, or go shopping because nothing else fits? Most of the family has suits, because they're men, and/or because they spend significant time in formal business or social settings.

comments

A question that is bugging me

Tue, 05 Dec 2023 19:11:53 GMT

Do moths eat cotton or synthetic fibers? Or only animal fibers like wool and silk?

comments

marathon shoe shopping expedition

Wed, 18 Aug 2021 20:59:30 GMT

I hate shopping for shoes. My knee hurts* if I walk in shoes that don't fit, or don't QUITE fit, or don't have quite the right arch support. Even if they're too worn out. I did pretty well with New Balance walking shoes for a while, but then they re-numbered their styles and I had to search for the plain black walking shoes that were equivalent to the ones I had before. (No, plain black, not with a weird white stripe between the shoe and the sole, what are they thinking? No, not with velcro. No, not with a special new ergonomic curved midsole. Those may be other people's shoes, but they are not mine.) I thought I was doing ok just ordering online and trying to get another pair just like the old ones, but the last pair don't seem quite as good. Can I possibly not need size 9 anymore? Who knows.

Thus did I try on most of the size 9 walking shoes on the women's side of the Cambridge Marathon Sports. (And a few 8.5. If I was wandering around the NB factory store by myself, I'd have at least tried on some 7.5 on the men's side.) There was a helpful person who measured my feet and scanned the way my feet touch the floor and watched me walk barefoot, and told me with great assurance what kind of shoe I should be wearing. (Not New Balance. He said there were several brands that might be good for my feet, but New Balance would be all wrong for me.) Everything he brought me felt fine when I was sitting down, and some even felt ok standing still, but they were all wrong for walking across the room. I'm not very good at describing the insides of shoes, but after half a dozen I could do a little better than "it feels wobbly" or "the arch is in the wrong place."

Shoe after shoe. My complaints got more specific. The arch is too low. Ok, that one's higher, but too far forward. Are there any shoes that are stiffer [point to specific place on foot] there? The poor salesman was almost in tears, because I seemed to be asking for a "medial post" and all his measurements said it was the worst thing for me. I remembered why I haven't shopped at Marathon in so many years.

My knee hurt after all that walking around the store in wrong shoes, but felt ok after a couple of days. The salesman and I had finally compromised on a pair of shoes that were not New Balance, but did have a strong enough arch support in the right place. (ETA: I may have skipped a pair, but it does feel like I tried on every pair in the store. Starting with the ones least like New Balance, and ending up with those that are almost as comfortable as what New Balance was making 3 years ago.) I tried them on in pink, and they shipped them to me in gray. When they finally arrived, everyone expects a happy ending after this long story! The left shoe fits...the right shoe fits...the right shoe is higher than the left.

*How well has that old knee injury healed? If I always get my shoes exactly right, I can walk 4 miles with no trouble. If I'm careless about the shoes, it yells at me in less than 0.25 miles.

comments

velcro

Mon, 02 Sep 2013 18:49:01 GMT

I approve of my rain gear fastening with velcro.
I approve of the case for my smartphone fastening with velcro.
I understand why my dress shoes fasten with velcro, even if I don't actually approve.

Velcro is really incredibly hard on dress-up clothes, ya know? I was going to say something like "especially summer clothes" or "especially women's clothes," but abrasion-resistant clothes just aren't very formal.

comments