old-fashioned manners

[adrian_turtle]

I went to see a new medical specialist this morning.

Office Manager: And what's your primary care doctor's name?
Adrian: Doctor [name]. It's spelled [...]
Office Manager: Do you know his first name?
Adrian: Of course. It's Deborah.

The office manager was seriously flustered by her mistake. I'm wondering how, in 2013, she might have made it. It's not like it's UNUSUAL for a family practitioner to be a woman. What surprised me even more was her thinking that I might not have known my doctor's first name.

A long time ago, when I lived in Michigan, my doctor was Dr. Bernstein. He shared an office with Dr. Blum, and I went on seeing Dr. Blum after Dr. Bernstein retired. I think I had some abstract awareness that they must have first names, but I had no idea what they might be.

Is this a difference between the 1970s and now? Or between how children and adults interact with their doctors? Or is it not perfectly routine to know the first name of one's primary doctor?

Comments

[redbird]

It seems more likely that I wouldn't know a specialist's last name, especially if it's the sort of referral where the primary care doctor says "I'm sending you to Dr. Whosis for some tests, talk to my receptionist" and then receptionist schedules it without giving you Dr. Whosis's card because they don't have one.

In this case, I suspect "do you know his first name?" was meant to give you an out if you didn't remember. On the other hand, your primary doctor has an unusual surname; this isn't likely to be a case of "we have four Dr. Singhs in our network, which one is yours?" or me was calling my dental office and asking for "an appointment with either Dr. Mahindra" because there was a third dentist in the practice, not named Mahindra, who I didn't care for.

[rinue]

When I didn't have insurance (or more accurately only had catastrophe insurance), I didn't have a primary doctor, but sometimes needed to see specialists for specific services. Not really the same thing, but it did mean paperwork confusion and flustered office managers from time to time.

[julian]

I think it may be a children vs adults thing -- I only knew my dentist by his last name for a long time, ditto my pediatrician. Nowadays I automatically read the physician rosters that are posted various places in clinics/hospitals/wherever, which tend to have first names on them.

[adrian_turtle]

I hadn't thought of it that way. These days, I know my doctors' first names because they use them when they introduce themselves to me, or because they are wearing nametags that include their first names. When my doctor's office phones, they say "this is Dr. B--'s office calling for [my first name]." But when the doctor herself calls, she says, "This is Deb B--- calling from [name of practice.]" It's less formal, without the implied authority.

Now that you mention it, I think here has also been a change in those rosters (and the directories by the hospital elevators that showed which doctors were in what rooms.) I think they have become more likely to show first names, not just initials.