rape culture for beginners

I've lost track of how many romantic comedies I've seen, based on how cute it is for some charming hero to pursue a reluctant sex object until she (usually "she" in this sort of story, though not always) gives in to his charms. I don't mean the kind of story where the audience sees into the ingenue's head enough that "reluctant," is obviously different from "unwilling," and his pursuit is a quest to find reasons for her to change her mind. I mean stalking stories, where her repeated attempts to get away from him are regarded as cute and foolish, and his persistence is supposed to look resourceful, and the whole thing is played for laughs until the dramatic clinch at the end. You know. Like "Green Eggs And Ham."

I hadn't noticed it before. I was at the library with the 5 year old recently, playing a computer game with text and animation. It might have been the animated body language that made me look up and think, "Sam-I-Am is flirting!" but the animators weren't putting anything in there that wasn't in the original drawings. And as soon as I looked back down, it was really obvious to me that Sam-I-Am was flirting with somebody who did not welcome his attentions. I no longer see that as cute. Even when the stalker is chasing the victim down with a cute little cartoon car, and it's perfectly obvious that nobody is hurt even when they runs into the path of an oncoming train in an effort to get away...somehow, it's not quite as cute as it once was. Still incredibly catchy, though. When I said, "Wow. Sam-I-Am is really being mean to not let him get away," we didn't reach much of an understanding. But I'm glad I said it anyhow, just to plant the seed.

I won't be online much in the next few days, but I will respond to comments when I can.


"Herb, The Vegetarian Dragon" tries so hard