not a hero
Nov. 18th, 2018 11:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
adrian_turtleIn terms of hours or dollars, I haven't been tutoring much lately. In terms of how tiring it is, I've been doing a LOT. Fortunately, there are a couple of Boston University students taking the same chemistry class, and one of them thinks I'm such a good teacher he offers to TIP. He says the extra money is to take a Lyft to meet him at BU, but I usually just thank him for the cash and go home by subway and feet. That's why I was in the BU student union this afternoon.
There was an "Anarchist Book Fair" in the back corner, next to the bathrooms. Much as I like the idea of book fairs, of anarchist book fairs, I didn't have time or money to spend. I'm not going to raise my consciousness or study background material. I was there to duck into the bathroom and put bright blue thermal underwear under my clothes before going home. I was just tempted to have a quick little peek at the books, which seemed to be mostly zines, comics, t-shirts, and Kropotkin.
Then the Nazis showed up.
I was wearing my Superman underwear, but I did not do anything remotely heroic. My first thought was to stand very still and hope nobody noticed me, and my second was to run back into the bathroom. (That second thought was really dumb, because the bathroom was on the other side of the Nazis.)
A lot of the comics people crowded right in front of the doorway and stared at the Nazis. For a couple of very strange minutes, they just stared at each other. I think they kept a little space between the 2 groups, but I was far enough back that I couldn't see clearly. It looked like almost everybody (on both sides) had their hands up over their head the whole time. Not shoving, not trying to touch anything...just trying to get a good view for their cameras. When the Nazis ran up and started yelling, the room went quiet. Obviously the book-fair talk stopped, but people were also really quick to shush each other if somebody yelled an insult.
After those eerily quiet few minutes, the comics people in front started yelling "Nazis out!" and the rest of us took up the chant. It went back and forth, not quite taking turns in the dance, "Nazis Out!" moving forward and "Blood and Soil!" stepping back. Out of the meeting space, around a corner, out a back door. "And stay out!" with a satisfying slam.
I hope they'll stay out. I'm not confident of it. They might have taken off their masks, gone around to the front of the building, and been sitting down with coffee before my hands stopped shaking.
There was an "Anarchist Book Fair" in the back corner, next to the bathrooms. Much as I like the idea of book fairs, of anarchist book fairs, I didn't have time or money to spend. I'm not going to raise my consciousness or study background material. I was there to duck into the bathroom and put bright blue thermal underwear under my clothes before going home. I was just tempted to have a quick little peek at the books, which seemed to be mostly zines, comics, t-shirts, and Kropotkin.
Then the Nazis showed up.
I was wearing my Superman underwear, but I did not do anything remotely heroic. My first thought was to stand very still and hope nobody noticed me, and my second was to run back into the bathroom. (That second thought was really dumb, because the bathroom was on the other side of the Nazis.)
A lot of the comics people crowded right in front of the doorway and stared at the Nazis. For a couple of very strange minutes, they just stared at each other. I think they kept a little space between the 2 groups, but I was far enough back that I couldn't see clearly. It looked like almost everybody (on both sides) had their hands up over their head the whole time. Not shoving, not trying to touch anything...just trying to get a good view for their cameras. When the Nazis ran up and started yelling, the room went quiet. Obviously the book-fair talk stopped, but people were also really quick to shush each other if somebody yelled an insult.
After those eerily quiet few minutes, the comics people in front started yelling "Nazis out!" and the rest of us took up the chant. It went back and forth, not quite taking turns in the dance, "Nazis Out!" moving forward and "Blood and Soil!" stepping back. Out of the meeting space, around a corner, out a back door. "And stay out!" with a satisfying slam.
I hope they'll stay out. I'm not confident of it. They might have taken off their masks, gone around to the front of the building, and been sitting down with coffee before my hands stopped shaking.
no subject
Date: 2018-11-19 03:03 pm (UTC)I'm sorry you had to see that; it must have been horribly scary, and I'm not surprised that you ended up shaking.
There's some evidence from research on trauma that shaking is part of what helps us to recover after a traumatic experience. So please do allow yourself to shake as much as you need to, and don't try to suppress that reaction.
I'm glad cool heads prevailed, and there was no physical violence. *hug* But how horrible to be in the room with Nazis.
no subject
Date: 2018-11-19 06:25 pm (UTC)Really, if there were suddenly Nazis in the room, I I think anybody who didn't wet their pants is probably a hero. :-)
Well, it probably helped that I had just gone to the bathroom. One of the vendors was selling t-shirts with the words "Everybody Pees," but the words were under a row of icons (person in pants, person in skirt, person with one leg in each, person in wheelchair) suggesting a different interpretation.
We weren't going through an empty room, yelling "Nazis Out!" as they slowly backed away. A bunch of people were eating, or reading or whatever. I looked around to see if any of them would join in. (On either side.) Or get up and leave. The ones closest to me rolled their eyes and went back to what they were doing.